6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
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