Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize