is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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