I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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