I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
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This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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