There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My balls are so social today.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
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He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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