haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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