the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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