Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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