You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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