you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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