Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize