Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize