Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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