i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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