I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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