I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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