I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize