Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(231): View more from Michigan

i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.

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(231): i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future. http://tfl.nu/hfoa

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(706): View more from Georgia

I GOT MY PERIOD!

(706): View more from Georgia

damn. i had names picked out.

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(706): I GOT MY PERIOD! (706): damn. i had names picked out. http://tfl.nu/tcr6

Replies (18) Good night (7065) Bad night (884)
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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(408): Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand http://tfl.nu/h440

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(770): View more from Georgia

He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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(770): He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle. http://tfl.nu/uuu6

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.

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(401): All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it. http://tfl.nu/0ldz

Replies (19) Good night (1227) Bad night (3458) Order T-Shirt
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(307): View more from Wyoming

He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.

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(307): He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him. http://tfl.nu/54ly

Replies (7) Good night (3702) Bad night (850) Order T-Shirt
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(434): View more from Virginia

Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.

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(434): Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying. http://tfl.nu/4yli

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(732): View more from New Jersey

yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

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(732): yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing" http://tfl.nu/qoaq

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.

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(+44): Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people. http://tfl.nu/uumz

Replies (24) Good night (5868) Bad night (1041)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.

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(608): I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/60pl

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.

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(204): Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas. http://tfl.nu/2j0v

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(303): View more from Colorado

I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.

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(303): I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time. http://tfl.nu/ridr

Replies (12) Good night (466) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW

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(734): my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW http://tfl.nu/rle5

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(312): View more from Illinois

Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?

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(312): Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!? http://tfl.nu/obq2

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(586): View more from Michigan

The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."

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(586): The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON." http://tfl.nu/rycj

Replies (4) Good night (919) Bad night (176) Order T-Shirt

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