Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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