Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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