Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
do herpes really smell.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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