so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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