There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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