This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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