I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pee around me
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize