i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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