i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize