Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize