ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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