It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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