he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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