I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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