# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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