thus making me awesome and them whores
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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