I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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