oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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