I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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