Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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