he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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