If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
im on a boat
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