Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
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In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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