Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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