do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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