a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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