I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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