yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize