Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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