she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize