You can't motorboat a personality
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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